Piers Morgan has written an open letter to President Donald Trump, asking him to consider him for the open job as Trump’s Chief of Staff. Published in the Daily Mail, Morgan says “the key thing is to have someone at your side that understands you, has known you a long time, likes you and commands your respect.”
He then outlines ten reasons why the President should hire him.
1) You need someone who will look you in the eye and tell you when you’re being an idiot. Seriously. Because sometimes you do dumb things like separating children from their parents at borders, or blaming forestry managers as people are dying in wildfires, and you need someone with the balls to tell you that. I’d have the balls, because I know it’s a myth you can’t handle the truth. I’ve written numerous columns attacking you and I’m still one of only 35 human beings you follow me on Twitter! I just always criticise you with respect, not abuse.
2) You need a CoS that will surround the Oval Office with loyal people who like and respect you, not the type of ghastly, untrustworthy reptiles like Omarosa Manigault Newman who you invited into your home with the same kind of inexplicable, self-destructive recklessness a mother hen displays when she invites a fox into the coop to babysit the chicks. You’ve had way too many treacherous weasels lurking in corridors of your White House. You don’t want sycophants but you do want straight-talking loyalists. Go watch The West Wing, and imagine me as your Leo McGarry, albeit younger and without quite such a bad drink problem.
Morgan also addresses Trump’s tweeting habit, which he says makes Trump his own worst enemy because he presses SEND without thinking.
3) You shouldn’t send a single tweet without discussing it first with your Chief of Staff. I know, I know, you love Twitter and the unrestricted freedom to spew whatever’s going through your head at any given time. It’s made you the most transparent president in history – we literally know exactly what you’re thinking in real time. But too often you become your own worst enemy by seeming to not even take a beat before pressing SEND, and posting something inaccurate, needlessly inflammatory or pointlessly petty. Trust me, I know about this syndrome – I suffer from it myself. But I also love Twitter, love the way you use it, and can be the perfect protective security shield for you. Bounce your tweets off me first, and I’ll tell you which ones are likely to end up being a net negative or a net positive. And which ones I thoroughly approve of for the appropriate mischief they will cause.
He also wants to focus on Trump’s achievements, saying they need more coverage.
4) I’d focus on getting your actual achievements more coverage. You have a good story to tell when it comes to stuff like the economy, jobs, peace talks with North Korea, trade with China (you’re winning that war..), and NATO (rightly) paying more of its bills. But it’s all getting lost in the wall of negative noise engulfing your presidency. You were great at ramming home simple messages during your election campaign. Yet now the narrative is one of perpetual White House chaos. Stop fuelling it, and keep things simple again. Keep telling people what is working. Remember, over 90% of incumbent presidents who run again on a strong economy, win. It’s ALWAYS the economy, stoopid.
He’s on board with Jared and Ivanka, saying “I see them as a great asset to you, not a hindrance. They’re two very smart young people with independent minds who you know you can trust and who aren’t afraid to give you their honest opinions even if they know you don’t want to hear them. These are the best kind of advisors.”
Morgan encourages the President to end his war with CNN, to use Melania more and that he’d be a cheap hire.
It’s probably a joke but some of Morgan’s ideas aren’t half bad.